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Playdates

January 18, 2010

Ooohhhh how I love playdates!

Kids getting to play with kids.
Mamas getting to chat with mamas.
The SERINITY,
The PEACE.

I was so stressed, so angry, so frustrated this morning I couldn’t wait to get there.

You know, one of the best things about playdates is getting to SEE my children.

I LOVE watching S play with others. I get to see his innocence. He becomes no longer the TERROR but the BLESSING.

I really am upset with my reaction to him lately. I act like I can’t stand him…what is wrong with me?!

How can I act like that or worse in the back of my mind feel that way???
I hate myself for it. I really really do.
I love him more than I ever knew possible. He teaches me more about life and about me than anyone or anything ever could. So

WHY

HOW

Can I take my aggression out on him? How can I not give him the attention he deserves?

Is this because I was abused. They say that people who were abused repeat. I by no means abuse him but Im afraid that one day I might Lise control. I don’t want to lose control or be annoyed at him.

But why won’t he listen

Why does he ignore me?

He doesn’t at playdates and that’s why I love em. AND I get a mommy mental friendship break as well…letting me know I am not crazy and not alone.

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