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Second Time Around

February 27, 2010

It’s not supposed to be this way
the second time around.

It’s not supposed to be this way
with the new ways that I found.

It’s not supposed to be this way
things were going to be different.

He screamed and cried and pushed
his Mama away.

Five months I cried and endured..
it’s not supposed to be this way…

It is not natural not
wanting to be in your Mama’s arms.

Those seats do not wrap you in
loving arms or smell your sweetness.

It’s not supposed to be this way
further away from you each day.

It’s not supposed to be this way
I crave the nearness.

It’s not supposed to be this way
the second time around.


Yesterday during the snowstorm we lost power. No water, no heat, and no electricity! I was so glad I was up early and had my coffee.

We played in his tent.
We built a fort.
We read stories.

Thankfully it came on right before S’s nap time! Cause it was freezing downstairs.

Sebastian now likes to ask why to everything. Which I am fully prepared for but not now. Not when he has no idea what he is saying.

He also put an old white pot on his head last night while I was cooking.

“look mom, I’m Max!”

Tooooo cute! He won’t let me take a picture…but I’ll get it.

Ethan’s GERD is getting worse everyday…starting to remind me of when Senastian was colicky for five months. This morning he didn’t even want to eat. He never wants me to hold he is either in the bouncy seat or swing. I wanted to hold him, wear him that was what I hoped for for this baby since S wouldn’t let me but it looks like he won’t either. Hopefully AS soon as we can get him his meds it will change.

Made awesome burgers last night.. And Papa has agreed that I can put dreads back in but I want to get them professionally done this time. Anyone know where I can get them done around here?

4 Comments leave one →
  1. February 27, 2010 12:47 pm

    a lovely poem, well done.

  2. 5kidswdisabilities permalink
    February 27, 2010 2:27 pm

    Beautiful poem. It also describes the feelings of mothers with infants with attachment disorder or sensory integration deficit. My son born addicted to heroin and cocaine could not stand to be touched and screamed 24/7. Now, at age 18, the screaming has stopped, but he still hates human touch. I can’t understand how someone can go through life like that!
    Lindsey Petersen

  3. February 28, 2010 6:27 am

    Great poem! Your baby look so adorable. and those burgers are so appetizing,. It looks so yummy!

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